Overall
general notice
This is a foreign language to foreign language translation! My mothertongue is not English, and I'm an intermediate Japanese speaker, using these projects for practice and fun. Of course, I'm always trying to be as accurate and natural as possible, but by the nature of this project, mistakes and weird phrasings are still very likely to occur. Feel free to tell me about them, so I can improve!
romanizations, terms, phrases
As a general rule, I'm trying to go with the variations that are the most widespread and/or make the most sense. For dubious names and phrases, this translation uses the followings:
This is a foreign language to foreign language translation! My mothertongue is not English, and I'm an intermediate Japanese speaker, using these projects for practice and fun. Of course, I'm always trying to be as accurate and natural as possible, but by the nature of this project, mistakes and weird phrasings are still very likely to occur. Feel free to tell me about them, so I can improve!
romanizations, terms, phrases
As a general rule, I'm trying to go with the variations that are the most widespread and/or make the most sense. For dubious names and phrases, this translation uses the followings:
- クモジャキー (Kumojakī): Kumojacky (will be corrected to Kumojaki retrospectively and in later chapters)
- コブラージャ (Koburāja): Cobraja
- サバーク (Sabāku): Sabaaku
- プリキュア (Purikyua): Precure
- スナッキー (Sunakkī): Sunackey (currently a mismatch with the novel translation, where it is still going by Snackey; that will be corrected later to Sunackey as well)
- こころの大樹 (Kokoro no taiju): Great Heart Tree
- こころの花 (Kokoro no hana): Heart Flower
- こころの種 (Kokoro no tane): Heart Seed
- プリキュアの種 (Purikyua no tane): Precure Seed
- 砂漠の使徒 (Sabaku no shito): Desert Apostles
- 大地に咲く一輪の花 (Daichi ni saku ichirin no hana): The flower blooming from the earth
- 海風に揺れる一輪の花 (Umikaze ni yureru ichirin no hana): The flower swaying in the sea breeze
- 陽の光浴びる一輪の花 (Hi no hikari abiru ichirin no hana): The flower bathing in the rays of the sun
- 月光に冴える一輪の花 (Gekkou ni saeru ichirin no hana): The flower glistening in the light of the moon
- 世界に輝く一面の花 (Sekai ni kagayaku ichimen no hana): The flowers shining across the world
- 集まれ、花のパワー！(Atsumare, hana no pawā!): Gather, power of flowers!
- 集まれ、二つの花の力よ！ (Atsumare, futatsu no hana no chikara yo!): Gather, power of two flowers!
- 闇の力よ、つどえ！(Yami no chikara yo, tsudoe!): Powers of darkness, gather up!
- 花よ、輝け！(Hana yo, kagayake!): Flowers, shine!
- 花よ、煌け！(Hana yo, kirameke!): Flowers, sparkle!
- 花よ、舞い踊れ！(Hana yo, maiodore!): Flowers, dance!
- 花よ、咲誇れ! (Hana yo, sakihokore!): Flowers, bloom!
- 私、堪忍袋の緒が切れました! (Watashi, kan'ninbukuro no o ga kiremashita!): I have had enough of this!
- 海より広いあたしの心も、ここらが我慢の限界よ！(Umi yori hiroi atashi no kokoro mo, kokora ga gaman no genkai yo!): My heart may be wider than the ocean, but this is where I draw the line!
untranslated texts
The usage is admittedly inconsistent, but what's usually left untranslated are sound effects and general Desertrian cries (such as their object names and the straight-up 'Desertrian!' lines). The reason for this is that I just don't want to mess up the drawings more than it's necessary, and nobody really reads the sound effects anyway. Maybe not the best choice, and I might change my mind about it later, but for now, most of them will remain untouched.
Chapter 1
no notes
Chapter 2
page 4 & 5: spiders and webs
I guess this is common knowledge already, but Kumojacky's name includes the Japanese word for 'spider', hence why when he introduces himself, Blossom immediately tenses up just from hearing it. No webs mentioned in Japanese, but a connection to spiders still needed to be made for the English version.
page 5: Watch your mouth
In the original dialogue, the reason why Marine gets so worked up over Kumojacky's use of words is not exactly because of what he says, but rather, how he says it. She says ヘンな言葉意味不 (Hen'na kotoba imifu), "Your weird words don't make sense," and that's because Kumojacky speaks in Tosa dialect. Now, I know some people are brave enough to try and "translate" dialects, but because I'm in a position where neither of these languages are my mothertongue...:"D I really don't think it would be too 1) entertaining, 2) nor accurate either. And so, since I opted for not indicating that it's a dialect, Marine saying he didn't make sense wouldn't really, well, make too much sense in English either, so I made her freak out over his word choice instead.
page 5: Watch your mouth
In the original dialogue, the reason why Marine gets so worked up over Kumojacky's use of words is not exactly because of what he says, but rather, how he says it. She says ヘンな言葉意味不 (Hen'na kotoba imifu), "Your weird words don't make sense," and that's because Kumojacky speaks in Tosa dialect. Now, I know some people are brave enough to try and "translate" dialects, but because I'm in a position where neither of these languages are my mothertongue...:"D I really don't think it would be too 1) entertaining, 2) nor accurate either. And so, since I opted for not indicating that it's a dialect, Marine saying he didn't make sense wouldn't really, well, make too much sense in English either, so I made her freak out over his word choice instead.
Chapter 3
page 4: Olala, les miserables
Yes, this appears like that in the original, complete with the Japanese translation in brackets c:
page 6: crooked mirror
Unuborekagami (or unubore mirā, as the furigana indicates here) is, according to dictionaries, a "small western mirror with mercury added to the glass (Edo period)". After researching a bit about its meaning, I eventually found that "in the Edo period, mirrors were normally made from metal. Apparently, the reason why they called it [the western variant] unuborekagami (vanity mirror), is because it could reflect your face more beautifully than a metal mirror," (https://hinative.com/questions/18659381) essentially indicating that it was thought of as a distortion of reality.
Chapter 4
page 4: Is this girl really me?
Itsuki's preferred pronoun for herself is boku, but in this scene, as she looks in the mirror and sees herself in a dress, she accidentally says watashi, which she then quickly corrects to her usual boku. A very big simplification, but the idea behind it is that boku is usually (although, not necessarily) used by boys and men, and watashi can be perceived as more feminine in some causal situations, even if it is taught as the standard gender-neutral polite form of 'I.' It is also the pronoun she will later use when she is in her Cure Sunshine form.
page 5: lantern monster
Tourou are traditional stone lanterns, usually seen along the path of Buddhist temples, shinto shrines and traditional Japanese homes.
page 9: senryu
"Senryu, three-line unrhymed Japanese poetic form structurally similar to haiku but treating human nature, usually in a satiric or ironic vein. Whereas haiku focuses on nature, senryu is concerned with human nature and its foibles. Similar to haiku, senryu generally consist of 17 syllables (also called morae) divided over three lines in a 5-7-5 pattern, though these guidelines were less strictly followed as time passed." (https://www.britannica.com/art/senryu) Well, I tried, but I'm not a poet :")
Chapter 5
no notes
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
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